BY CLIFFORD L. D. KABIA
Such was not my design but that of the Lord Almighty.
Somewhere I thought I heard it said that the Lord will never entrust you with a load you cannot bear.
Such is my fate to meet you here and now. Such was never to my thinking and I had believed that no one was to ever come again and take a place in my heart.
Is this love, is this mockery; is this temptation that will ultimately eat away my soul and tear my insides inside out?
And you all the more ever laughing at my stupidity, naivety, and foolishness; a man meant to know his place, command and keep his respect is now lying at your feet forever to do as you so do please.
Now once again I am the fool destined to be once more under the rule of another Born to Rule Men born to rule me.
Such is the game, and we must ever play the fool or pander to the demands of the time and follow the wishes of those who deem the feeling all so right.
And you have been the fool for too long now, forever locking ties with those you were not meant to be. Such was meant for you to gain much vital experience and not something you should look back on with hatred and malice.
Experience they say is a good teacher.
The fruits of your labour will come in time, and those garnered along the way most forever be cherished and remind you of those days long gone by when you were young and ruled the hearts of men and trampled upon by those who are meant to be obeyed because they took advantage of the times and the situation you were in.
Even though you strived hard to please them, in the end it always ended up you being at the losing end because you were never one to understand the ways of men and see the deceit in their eyes as they plead ‘I Love You’.
And now, even though you have given me the eye, you nevertheless are once again knocked back to your senses and putting up your defences once more, never again to be so trampled upon by those you the women folk give birth to.
But we can’t fight it.
If it was and has been destined to be, we will be.
So be it.
We were once strangers, and we met in irreconcilable circumstances not meant to yield dividends. At the outset we were really hostile towards each other and you made it so that when our eyes met you would instill panic and pain within me, leaving me feeling all the more angry and bitter towards you.
Such was I never really wanted to see you ever again though we walked the same corridors.
I had so desperately wanted to instill in you and send the same spear fear hurtling towards you to make you pay for slighting me and making me feel somewhat not wanted, so maligned and cast aside by the opposite sex.
But there you were so reverenced, so majestic and powerful in your own way as those bloodthirsty men tried to make you their own; and how you threw them aside because you are the strong headed type that would not be swayed otherwise without the dictates of your Maker and those that together with you make the distinct personality you are.
And some nevertheless did get to you.
They found the ways and means to make you theirs; or was it something you saw in them that was not worth the salt of your fellows that constitute the sect of the Daughters of Eve. They used spiritual means and methods, and today you are left to bear the pain and sadness, getting to realize that you shouldn’t have gone that far.
Was it all worth it?
Giving life to some lost innocent soul to suffer this world of illusions again with the birth pains and madness that will leave one feeling sorry and lonely forever more on this barren plane of existence where the Light that beckons ever since the dawn of time can never be discerned because that is the way it is meant to be, to suffer forever whilst bringing pleasure to the One who gave you life, the One I must slave for forevermore till the day I rest in His/Her Bosom never to go out anymore.
And the life you live did cut you down to size though you would never take advantage of the times and the ways of men.
How did you get to this stage, one of the most beautiful women around, one of the most magical that only I have eyes for that none can see, to end up playing the role of the man looking out for the wants and needs of the woman.
But tell me my dear loved one, who is looking out for you? You can have any man you want but you so decide to have your own way.
Was I too late in coming?
How could the Good Lord be so ‘wrong’ in his timing, or was it all done in order to make the game all the more intense. Just to make me sweat it out and die a thousand times all over.
And was I led astray, thinking I was having it right doing the work of the Good Lord. Here I am saddled with someone I love so dearly, having gone through together life’s trials and pains; yes, it was the love that kept me going, without you I would have never made it.
Having met your sibling in the flesh of the yellow race who was very much instrumental in teaching me the rudiments of love, I was assured that you being the one to go through the darkest days with me I would meet you again in the same flesh as you, another you that would leave me marveling at the might of the Mighty One.
The Three in One Woman.
And what am I set to gain? How can I be so deceitful to the one who went through it all with me? My Lord and My God, how can this be?
Same as you, I can’t fight it.